A fun opinion piece, and one based on the fact that whilst I am very politically aware, I haven’t as yet demonstrated it outside of political forums.
Now, looking at the politicians we have in this country, what would their persona, their attitude and their approach to their work be if they were humble employees? Well, this is my take on it:
Julia Gillard – The CEO. Competent enough, and with a streak of viciousness, she exhibits the qualities people like in a CEO…but you’ll never know it, because her public relations team are all wanting quotes from the General Manager to fill their newsletter. Tends to take too much on, then get’s roundly criticised by her BoD.
Tony Abbott. The General Manager. Would be asked to complete a task, and would immediate declare ‘No’, whilst telling the BoD why the other employees and especially the CEO, are incompetent by showing emails and sales receipts. When it came to submitting results, he will say the Finance Department has them, then blame someone else when the Finance Department comes back saying the figures are all over the place. He is the guy that does no work, tells everyone else what to do then expects to be handed the role of CEO unchallenged…and he desperately wants to be CEO…and will do anything legal or not to get there.
Wayne Swan, as Head of the Finance Department has seen the business chug along nicely, even when the firm bottomed out a couple of years ago, and despite the stuffing up of the books by his predecessor, Costello.
Joe Hockey. Nice guy, everybody likes him, but as the Junior Finance Analyst, finds it difficult when big sales come in and revenue increases. He tends to get stuck at ‘Eleventy’. Good for a joke to lighten the mood, though.
Kevin Rudd. Fired for disloyalty, and for losing a huge sale with one of their major clients, ‘The Greens Inc’
Barnaby Joyce. No one really knows why Barnaby is there. It was like he was there before anyone else and no one has the heart to tell him to leave. Really offers nothing, but a few comments that cannot be discerned by his drawl. Might turn mad if provoked.
Bill Shorten. Nice guy, tends to be a bit of a yes-man, but unquestionable loyalty…to whoever is CEO. Knows his sales region back to front, and has the benefit of working for one of their major suppliers, ‘Unions Pty Ltd’
Andrew Robb. He is the guy that has been with the company for years, offers nothing particular, and get’s confused with large numbers. Tends to ramble.
Nicola Roxon, Kate Ellis, Kate Lundy. The darlings of the office, competent, coherent and without any enemies.
Julie Bishop. The forgotten darling. Always the bridesmaid, she demonstrates some confidence, but is let down her persona which has all the hallmarks of a boarding school mistress.
Greg Combet. Probably the most boring employee in the office. Never speaks to anyone unless it is to admonish them. Surprisingly, passes all his KPIs with flying colours.
Christopher Pyne. Perennial whinger, always complains about all the other staff, then has a verbal stoush with the boss when he doesn’t get his way, which is often. He is the smart-alec who no one really likes, but seems to get along with a portion of the team who try to keep him settled.